Walking half naked around bars at 2 am and drinking beyond being aware of your surroundings while sending ambiguous signals does not excuse his crime. But it still makes you look like a retarded idiot. And walking around with signs blaming your lack of risk awareness on society and culture does not make it any better.
The world is a dangerous place. It’s full of criminals, perverts, psychopaths or people with lack of self control who are not impressed by civil right protests. If you don’t give a shit about your personal safety - why do you expect others to look out for you?
This culture, your culture, my culture told girls it’s perfectly safe to walk around piss drunk alone with strangers in abandoned garage staircases. This culture makes young girls believe that some magic wand enforces law and order, chivalry and fairness around the clock even in the darkest alleys. That there is not a single pervert, criminal, drunk or drug addict out there who ignores the laws of civilized society and will lose control, rape you given the first chance or kill you for $25 that he urgently needs on crack.
As long as there is a single criminal still out there YOU have to watch out for yourself! Write this on signs: It’s his crime but your live that gets wrecked. Stay safe!
This is not the point. The point is that rape is rape and men get off scott-free while the woman is left to live with that for the rest of her life. But who’s to blame? Well, not the criminal, that’s for sure. We should blame the woman, she MUST have done SOMETHING to make him do that. Of course.
99.99% of men live long and fulfilled lives without ever committing violent crimes. The problem is the remaining 0.01%. We call them criminals and they don’t give a shit about your or my rights. This is not about men and women. This is about criminals and victims.
So which sounds like a more feasible plan?
A] marching around with billboards trying to convince criminals not to commit crimes
B] educating people how to avoid falling victim of a crime
Who is the only one likely to listen? Who is the only one interested in avoiding the violent crime from happening? The victim or the criminal?
If you prefer not to be raped over ‘being right’ please go and read Marc ‘Animal’ MacYoung’s excellent No Nonsense Self-Defense on Rape. Marc MacYoung is a former gang member who turned into a security analyst. He has a lifelong experience of street violence form both ends and interviewed over 100 rape victims over the years. He seriously knows what he is talking about. And while you are at it read his other articles on Property Crime or Robbery.
If you still vouch for plan A] the right way is still not to march half naked around with billboards chanting “a sexy dress is not a yes”. You want to help? Organize free and accessible legal representation for rape victims! Collect money and hire lawyers who are proficient in violent crime and sexual assault cases! Represent the victims, bring these cases to court and put the criminals behind bars!
First of all the idea that 99.99999% of men do not rape is, what I would call, and idealized estimate, this article right here (http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/meet-the-predators/)and personal experience with men in my own life, is that people are not taught what consent is and THAT is a large problem. If lots of rapes are performed by a person the victim knows, it isn’t just the clothes, it is the fact that some people truly believe that sex is a prize for when they are nice to another, and that is horse shit. Most men (although men are not the only ones guilty of raping) do not even know that they scarred a woman in the slightest. The sign the woman is holding really brings light to that, and that is why the sign is important.
I think that people have the right to be defensive, but should it be a necessity? As a woman I do not think it is particularly fair or right to walk around in constant fear when I’m out on Saturday night. I do not find it fair that frat guys get to walk around shirtless in short shorts, being douche lords, piss drunk do not (generally) have to fear being penetrated without consent by another human being, whereas if I am in short shorts I have to just deal with the fact that someone is going to grab my ass without my permission. If it’s hot out, I’m going to wear fewer clothes, that’s just life, I shouldn’t be harassed because of my decision to wear fewer clothes.
Also for as few women who attempt to get their rapists in jail, I believe less than 5 in 100 rapists will spend a single day in prison, though you may have to fact check me on that one.
Bringing light to a problem is the first step. Visibility, then education. Defensive is for sure a part of that education, but I think it would behoove you to attempt seeing this from another side.
This was probably a poorly worded argument and for that I apologize, but just thought I would throw this out there.
Okay. You are right. The 99.99999% was delusional. I looked up the numbers in the famous Lisak & Miller report:“Repeat rape and multiple offending among undetected rapists”. The study reports that 6.4% of the 1,882 questioned males admitted ever committing behavior that qualifies either as rape or attempted rape.
6.4% is a shockingly high number. Until you put that number in perspective:
There is no specific ‘war on women’. This 6% is simply the shockingly high percentage of violent criminals in society who don’t give a shit about your or my rights.
Radfems make it look like as if these people were otherwise law abiding citizens who just fail to respect women. They blame it on sexism and patriarchism in society. The truth is that this 6% will prey on women and men alike.
Lisak & Miller explicitly states:
“The data reveals that these 120 rapists did not confine their violence to the sexual realms or in many cases, to adults. A majority of these men admitted to other acts of interpersonal violence, including battery, physical abuse and/or sexual abuse of children”
This is not a problem of sexism or patriarchy. This is a problem of violent psychopaths who take what they want. They not only don’t care about your consent to sex. They also don’t care about taking other people’s property, they get violent in an argument, beat children or find entertainment in torturing animals.
And this is my problem with Slutwalk. You could just as well walk around with signs saying:
“Criminals, don’t commit crimes!” or “psychopaths be nice”
It is not only totally ineffective but it also discourages girls from being defensive! Radfems persuade girls that there is nothing they should be doing to avoid becoming a victim. “It’s simply the fault of society and once you have abolished patriarchy everything is going to be alright! It’s OK for girls to walk around piss drunk alone or in dubious company in dark alleys!”
Well, no. These are violent psychopaths. These are the same people who commit other criminal acts and violence. As long as these people are out there, as long as other violence is out there, rape will happen.
But here is the good news:
According to Lisak & Miller only 17.5% of the rapists reported using threat or overt force in attempted rapes. In the vast majority of cases the victim is simply too intoxicated, too drunk to resist.
While fighting slut shaming Slutwalk distracts from the most important fact:
By simply not drinking yourself piss drunk you can avoid 82.5% of rapes!
This is what these billboards should say:
“Don’t drink yourself piss drunk. If you are partying with a group of 50 people you are likely exposing yourself to 3 potentially violent criminals while you are too drunk to talk or even stand upright.”